Complete Honesty

Hello again, and greetings

So today I thought I would be 100% up front and honest about my health issues. What they are and such... believe me as I type this... this is not a post hoping for or looking for pity... it is simply a catharsis (emotional purge) that I feel has been a long time coming.

 Warning this could be a long post..... or maybe it will come in instalments...

When I started this blog about 2 months ago I started with an update... and very casually stated that I had been off work since February with health problems. The whole truth is I have been trying to avoid the fact that my body was slowly giving up on me... and in February it said "ENOUGH"....

You may need some back ground info to make this all make sense. About 4 years ago now I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (now I take some hormone pills and get regular blood testing and all seems well on that front) a couple of months after that I was diagnosed with seizures.
Actually what I was told was " Charlotte the results of your EEG came in and you have seizure activity in your left temporal lobe" I sat there and thought... you have the wrong Mackin... My brother has seizures... Later I found out that I have a form of seizures that usually only presents in children... I was 24!! not so much a child... so that makes it an "a" typical form.... I guess I have never been "normal" so why start now :)

We then tried some meds to help get control.... when I say that went bad I mean BAD, HORRIBLE, BAD... I was one of the small percentage of people who experience the wonderful side effect of having an increase in seizure (sz) activity.  I am not going to go into all the detail of that experience... some of you were there and you know... I am sure you remember that...

That is around the same time when I got my long list of food intolerance.... and I started teaching full time....
Between then and now I did have a year and a half sz free. I don't know why... and I really don't know why they started up again. But they did and they came back with a vengeance.

I would work all day having about 10 sz in the day (because of the form of sz I have and because I am a demonstrative person naturally my students never noticed). Then I would come home grab something quick to eat and pass out.... wake up the next day and do it all again.

Then I met the most wonderful man in the world... who has undergone a trial by fire when it comes to my health. so there was less time with the couch and more time dating :) (I am not complaining at all on that front)

My sz started lasting a long time and by long I mean 10 min plus... only stopped by emergency medication. Being a stubborn never show weakness person I trudged on and on until my body just quit... It was no longer recovering from the constant barrage of sz. I talked to my principal and the idea was to take a couple of weeks off to recover... the weeks lead to months and months has now turned into the rest of the school year.   There came a time where I was having 50 sz on a regular day with option for more and often all I did was lay on the couch have sz and lay on the couch... But I was not alone... God has surrounded me with wonderful friends and family and my soon to be family and best friend Mr. N.
 My Mom came and stayed with me... because the other option was a long term care facility. If you don't know my Mom then you really should meet her. She makes superman look like a wimp.

But I kept much of this away from others... I did not want them to worry. And by others I mean if you were not in the immediate circle of people around me. I hid it from you.... you all have busy lives and I did not want you to worry.

Thankfully I am on some medication that seems to be working I am down to 1 sz every week or so as long as I don't try to do to much. I still need more rest than I ever thought I could. All I do some days is sleep and write my silly blog.

So here are the things that I have learned....

1. No matter how tough things get God is always there. Just because bad things happen does not mean that He is on a coffee break.
2. I have wonderfully amazing friends and family... I can't thank them enough... they truly are my super hero's 
3. my brother has always made this epilepsy thing look easy... let me assure you it is not...
4. There are always reasons to have a dance party even if it is...."look today I got out of my pj's" or "woo hoo... I stayed awake for 2 hrs in a row"
5. it is okay to say "this SUCKS" because some times it really does...
6. grow in appreciation for those who love you and listen to you vent... (thanks)



This is the abbreviated version of my health but I think I caught up on the major goings on here.

Thanks for reading my rant... I think I just really needed to write it.

Till next time... enjoy your tomorrow